I just got off the phone with Dr. Devinskie and I am sitting here in tears... he said that they all agree that Abby is a good candidate for surgery... I never thought that my heart would squeeze in pain again... its been awhile since I have felt this, I am numb and don't know how to react except cry.
I DON'T WANT TO BE A MOMMY RIGHT NOW... I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE THIS DECISION now or in the next week or in the near future or ever! I wish God would send us a letter in the mail, fed-ex or UPS telling us what to do.
I froze after what he told me, silence on my end of the phone... I knew I would have questions, but what were they? Why is it that my mind always goes blank why can't I think... All I could ask was, "When?" and he said that is all part of scheduling, then "How long?" he said 2 1/2 weeks to 3 weeks stay in the hospital.
He also said that he had to be conservative and tell me that because of all the structural disease on both sides of her brain (due to bi-lateral stroke) that they can't say surgery will cure her 100% of epilepsy, but since that all activity is on the right side it very well may.
This is it this is all I know... help me think of questions... what would you ask? I can't think!!!!
I can't imagine my sweet girl on a table having brain surgery... My daughter might be getting brain surgery... I never thought I would type these words.
Please pray for my husband and I as we face, I believe one of the most difficult decisions we've ever had to make. God is so good and I know this is a huge test of faith on our part, trust on our part... help me to trust Lord, help me to trust.