January 22, 2009


I broke down and made an appointment tomorrow after my friend mentioned that I could have rheumatoid arthritis. I made the mistake and read about it on the web and cried all afternoon. I pray this is not what it is I am suffering from... it awful, it can't be... it only gets worse... I have to have my arms and hands to hold my daughter!

Oh Only God knows... He has a plan... I just don't like the un-known nor the looks of things right now. A sweet friend came over to help with the dishes today and even took out my trash... Oye its all so humbling to have someone help... "ITS NOT RIGHT" I want to scream out... I am the one that LOVES to help others but I am so weak right now!!!

I have to humble myself even more as my mom and her dear friend are flying out tomorrow to help me this weekend. I am so grateful, but told my mom that I can't clean before she gets here and I am so embarrassed! "That is why we are coming, sweety to help you"!

I think I need prayer more for swallowing my pride than I do this awful pain I am experiencing!

Ok I have to stop now, my fingers are hurting... thank you all for your prayers!

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